This blog was originally created as more of a baby book and to keep friends and family informed about the pregnancy and Adaline. I realize that I have a much wider audience than I originally anticipated and I am grateful for that, but I also want to keep this blog focused on its primary goal. This post is quite long and rambling, so I have added some warning markers for those of you who do not want to read it all to more easily navigate to the good stuff :).
I will start where I left off on the Babymoon and other long ramblings post, so you may want to read that if you are new.
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| Adaline and I in our new chair. |
Warning: this whole section is about a chair, you may want to skip it.
On Sunday afternoon, my husband and I decided to finish where we left off on Lazy-boy shopping. We had to pause a few times for some mild contractions I was having, but it was nothing major or close together. I had my heart set on the golden retriever chair and my husband had his heart set on anything but that chair. We went to a few more places and did not find anything I liked better, so I asked if we could go back and see the chair... maybe it was not as awesome as I remembered? It was as awesome as I remembered, however only in the reclining position. When just sitting in the chair and rocking (which I assumed I would be doing a lot of), I had to slouch so far down, it would have been very uncomfortable. So, my husbands wish came true and the golden retriever would not be going home with us. We found another chair at the store that was comfortable, fit both of us well and was in the correct price range, but it was ugly. Ordering it in a different color would have cost $100 more and taken weeks to get. Ugly is not a big deal to me. Since we have been working for the last 6 years to become debt free, we have only purchased our bed and a crib new. Everything else has been a hand me down or a gift so it is not like an ugly chair would be out of place. My husband was eyeing up the leather chairs. I asked if their prices were firm (because I do that everywhere) and the first sales guy said yes. That store knows their stuff when it comes to dealing though and then we got a second salesman who took over. He said he had a discontinued floor model that we could make an offer on. My husband said he had no idea what to offer, so the sales guy offered $550 (regularly $675). He said he would let us talk it over. I told my husband to offer $500, but be prepared to be ready to take it and not change our minds. He did and the sales man said he would accept the offer if we shook on the deal right there. We may have been able to get it for less, but I feel accomplished, so we are the proud owners of a new chair.
This one is about dinner, you may want to skip it as well :)
After we got our new chair loaded, we started talking about dinner. Nothing specific sounded good to me so I prodded my husband for ideas. He didn't seem to have anything he was craving either. Then he said that someday he would like to go to a pricey Chinese place a few towns over. I said "lets do it!" we are kid free for what might be the last time in a long time. So we did it. We made the trip to a town is praised for its good school system and kind of the it place to live that is still near the city we live in. We got there and they said there was 4 tables ahead of us. People that eat at this place are snobs.... They have a small waiting area and everyone sitting in it was young and fit and clearly saw that I was quite pregnant. Not one of the 10 of them offered me their seat. My husband who is usually pretty passive even asked me if he wanted me to ask someone to move. I loudly declined his offer saying I wanted someone to do it on their own accord. I know the family standing next to me heard me say it. When a spot opened up, that family raced over to the empty spots ahead of me... Then the hostess came over and said that their large table opened up and if a total of 8 people wanted to sit there, they could seat us all right now. All but one other family declined and we were ALL stuck waiting longer while the table remained empty. The food was worth it though! It was very good. With my son, my "last meal" was Qdoba so ethnic food must do it for me.
OK, now we are getting closer
We asked our neighbor if they would help us unload the chair and then showed them the nursery. I tried to get some friends to go out for a drink (obviously I would not be drinking), but only one person was available, so we decided not to go. I slept in the new chair (it has an overpowering leather smell). For at least a month now I would have a contraction when my bladder was full. I had a few of them that night, but I chalked it up to the chair and moved to the couch (my bed since October since I have been sick) and slept well the rest of the night.
The next morning I was pretty uncomfortable. The doctor had told me that if I went into labor after 36 weeks, that they wouldn't stop me, so I could labor at home and come in when my contractions were 5 minutes apart. I remembered being pretty uncomfortable for a few days before my son came and I really didn't want her to come this early, so I decided I should go to work. We traded cars with my mother in law so she had the car seat and the 4 wheel drive car and I assumed that since my husband knows what a bad driver I am he would have taken his moms car and left me our other one. He didn't. So I called and chewed him out. He offered to come back from work to trade me, but I put on my big girl pants and decided to drive it. This meant I needed to get a temporary parking pass from my employer which took time to do and I got to work about an hour late. I wrote my husband an email to apologize for overreacting and told him I might have him take me to my 2pm appointment because I was not sure I should drive. About an hour later one of the students who works for me came in. I work in IT, so I am surrounded by men. I told him that I thought I may be in labor. He asked in a somewhat panicked voice what he needed to do to help. I told him not to worry because birth isn't like it is in the movies. Labor is a long process and babies don't just come like that. My contractions started be come more painful. I wrote my husband a text to come get me, but once the contraction was over I felt fine and didn't send it. 3 contractions later, I sent it. He came right away and when he came in the office I was telling my co-worker how to do something like nothing was going on. When I stood up to leave I had a really intense contraction. My back was to my poor co-worker, so I am not sure if he saw or not, but it was all I could do to not scream. I made it the 10 minute drive home without any more contractions. I went upstairs to get some more comfortable clothes, when back downstairs and while I was changing, I decided to go to the bathroom. As I was going, I heard a swoosh and swore. I REALLY didn't want to have her today. It did not sound like as much water as I would expect though and since they broke my water for me with my son, I wasn't sure if it was the real thing (or maybe I am just really good at lying to myself). Since the midwife told me that I should come in if my water broke, I decided to call her. I got her voicemail just as I was having another contraction, so I hung up. I tried to call the office, but got the menu and then had another contraction, so I hung up again. Just then the midwife returned my call and I told her I thought my water broke. While I was on the phone with her I got very light headed and I told her I was going to pass out. She told me to come into the office and I screamed for my husband and then hung up (I don't remember if I just hung up or if I said anything else to her). My husband came down and I told him I was going to die and to tell my son I loved him. I never felt to like I was going to pass out with my son, so I thought something was seriously wrong. The midwife later said that the baby probably hit my pelvic floor which dropped my blood pressure. I thought I might be feeling her in my pelvis, but I didn't want to check because I didn't have sterile gloves. I was starting to feel more stable and with the next contraction I told my husband to call an ambulance. I am not sure why I did this because I was still telling my self she was not coming today, but I think a part of me may have known that she wasn't waiting. I think I knew there was no way I could get myself in a car to go to the hospital. I was not paying attention to if my husband was actually calling 911 or not so with the next contraction and said in a deep meaningful voice "CALL AN AMBULANCE". Just then I heard him connected with the 911 operator and tell her I was in labor. He said this was my second child and I felt something wasn't right. I could hear her tell him to have me lay on my back and since I was not in a place to talk I showed him the bird. He very cordially said something along the lines of "She doesn't want to do that". They asked him if he could see a head and since I was standing up we did an awkward little dance before deciding that we were not going to find out. Since I was in the middle of changing when all of this happened I was only wearing socks and a bra. Something about labor makes me hate clothes and I remember trying to get my bra off during a contraction and my husband asking me why I was doing that. I don't remember getting it off, but I wasn't wearing it later... He tried to coax me into my sons bedroom. I was worried because it was fully carpeted and I didn't want to make a big mess. Then I remembered that we had a waterproof pad on my sons bed in the event he had an accident. I got on the bed but did NOT want to be on my back. I decided to stay on all fours. The first responders started to arrive. One of them put a glove on my hand and asked me if I could feel the head. I asked if it was sterile and felt for the head. It was RIGHT there. I didn't have time between contractions to tell him it was, so they began making plans to try and get me to the hospital. I had the urge to push with the contractions but I kept saying to myself "I don't want to do this today, I don't want to do this today". Then I said "here she comes" I thought she was out and I said "get the camera, I think it is in the living room". My husband gave me a look like "really" and he took a picture with his phone. Then they said, give another push when you are ready. I asked why and it turns out that only the baby's head was out. So, that is why my husband gave me a look when I asked him to take a picture. However, no other pictures were taken :(. You would think with 15 people looking on, one of them could have looked for the camera. I suppose they felt weird about taking pictures with me dressed like I was. She cried when she was all the way out for a bit and they gave her apgars of 9 and 10.
Next they had me pull her through my legs and lay on my back. We did our best to avoid the messy spots, but it is hard on a cushy mattress. They gave me a few minutes to deliver the placenta, but my contractions had stopped (just like with my son). They got a robe on me and put her inside of it with me. Her eyes were open and she was just taking it all in. Our house was built in the 50s, so it has some pretty tight corners and they couldn't get a stretcher in to get me so they had me sit in this chair and strapped me down. I thought I was going all the way to the ambulance, but they just took me to the porch and then put me on a stretcher. I was like "I think I could have walked that far". I asked how we were going to get her to the hospital and they said she would ride with me. I said "she doesn't need a car seat?".
When we got into the ambulance, we sat in there for a bit and they said they needed to start an IV on me. Just as he was about to poke me that driver said "are we ready" and I very quickly said "NO!". When we got to the hospital, my midwife was waiting for me with a big smile and said "Well, you got your natural birth". I was a bit worried they would be mad at me for having her at home, but in my defense I was at work less than 40 minutes before she was born, so I think they understood that I didn't do it on purpose.
They took me into labor and delivery and the midwife began poking at my stomach and trying to get the placenta to come out. It hurt SO much. After maybe about 15 minutes of trying my OB came in and tried. I begged for drugs. With my son, they put me out to have the placenta delivered. They gave me some morphine and it was still unbearable. I begged for more. They gave me a morphine shot in my leg and it still didn't seem to do anything. I made eye contact with everyone around me asking for drugs and they just looked away without saying something. I said "is that a no?" They delivered the placenta, but were worried there might be more, so the OB stuck her hand in (yes, all the way) for a feel. I don't remember much of what happened after that though, so I think the drugs may have something to do with that. I think I called my Dad sometime after that. Adaline was not as warm as they wanted her to be, so they had me do some skin to skin. They said her blood sugar was at the very bottom of normal and she wasn't interested in nursing, so they suggested giving her a bottle. I said I was fine with that and asked for donor milk. They said it takes a long time to warm up, so we ended up giving her some formula. She drank it like a champ (feeding issues were one thing that they were worried about, so that was nice!). I remember it seemed like we were in the labor and delivery room for awhile waiting for another room. Around 5 or 6 they wheeled me in to our room. I guess they had a baby boom that day (the kept bragging about how they had 12 c-sections, which we thought was odd) so they were out of mother baby rooms and we were put in a antinatal (high risk pregnancy) room. Shortly after we got into our room my mom, step dad, mother, father and brother in-law and son arrived.
With the exception of the placenta, I could not have asked for a better birth. I am a big supporter of home birth in the right conditions, but with legislation the way it currently is in our state, even if she didn't have the health problems that she has, I would be a bit concerned about delivering at home. I hope our medical system can work toward a safe system of coordinated care because this birth was so great. Granted it was short, but I was able to just listen to my body and it did exactly what it was supposed to do. The EMT's were great and followed my lead. They didn't make me get into a different position or make any threats. I feel like I got redemption for my sons birth and that has really helped me bond with my daughter as well. When I think about how everything went, I think God was looking out for me on this one. Had a gone into labor just minutes earlier or tried to work through just a few more contractions, I would have given birth at work and scared my poor employee. My husband may not have been there and it wouldn't have been a home birth... and I am not sure I could look the custodians in the eye after they had to shampoo the carpets. :). Had I gone into labor just hours later, I would have been at my 2pm OB appointment and they would have seen that I was in labor and admitted me. Maybe they would have felt she needed a C-section... Most Mondays my mother-in-law is at our house with my son, but because we were on our babymoon, he was at her house. This meant that I didn't have to worry about him. I think he is a bit young to understand labor pains. ... it was all part of a perfect plan.
Lastly I have to thank my support system! My mother-in-law watched my very active son in addition to cleaning the murder scene in my sons bedroom. It took 3 washes to get the blood out of the mattress pad, but she did it. She also did many other loads of laundry so we would have sheets and clothes to bring Adaline home in. My mom and step dad went to every store in town and bought every preemie outfit available (not a great selection out there) so she actually has clothes that fit her! My Dad brought cases of snacks so I have something quick to grab and eat during feedings. Lastly I need to thank my husband who was and is a rock star! I do not think I would have reacted half as well as he did. He seemed cool as a cucumber the whole time. I think I would have been a worthless wreck in his shoes when I said "I am going to die, tell my son I love him.", then "call and ambulance". While I was in on the bed surrounded by the first responders he had his game face on and looked more up to the task than most of the rest of the peanut gallery in the room. He told me I was doing great and that she was breathing and moving. I would really expect most men to be passed out in a corner with what I put him through. While they were getting the placenta, he was right by my side and held my hand the whole time. At one point he had blood on his hand and I thought it was his blood from squeezing his hand too hard, but it was mine.
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